Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in darb42's LiveJournal:

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Tuesday, July 5th, 2011
1:41 pm	Short things, without a home. I joined twitter because I wanted to submit something... anything. I'd been reading up on fiction markets, and some article somewhere mentioned a place called "Thaumatrope." I'd give you the link, but... Thaumatrope is, or was, a Twitter based e-rag. It would tweet its members stories that fit in the Twitter message box: 140 characters or less. IT DIED! Shortly after I'd submitted, the publication closed its doors. This happens a lot. I feel like my stories are little time bombs that explode on the slush pile and sink the publication. I thought I'd share, since there is no market for them but your kind attention. Title: On the evolving morals of the lower to middle Paleolithic. Ug holds Ong. Scandal, little one is with the wrong sort, awake, at night! Them and their... fire? No good will come of it. ( A few more of the same ) DARE YA! Write one. You have less than 140 "characters," not "words," and spaces and punctuation count as a whole character. You'll want to find your word count utility. In my antiquated version of Microsoft Word, it's under the tools menu. BOUNCE! (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, June 30th, 2011
1:51 pm	To have and to hold. In august of last year, I performed the wedding ceremony for a couple of my best friends. It was the result of the hot tub and a bottle of wine, and once they convinced me that they weren't joking, I got legally ordained and became a licensed minister. Let me make this plain. I did not spend four years in school studying divinity; I spent fifteen minutes on the internet and became a member of the American Fellowship Church. I'd meant to let my license laps after a year, but my niece was at the wedding, and she convinced me to stay in the church of the World Wide Web, so that I could perform the ceremony for her and her intended. I'd hoped to spend a little time with Cody and Mandy, to get a sense of what sort of thing would be best to say, but it just never quite happened. After some back and forth, Mandy emailed me "Foundations of Marriage," by Regina Hill. I didn't think much of the text, but dutifully memorized it. On Friday the 24th, another cold and rainy day in western Washington, the wedding party got together at the outdoor location where the next day's ceremony would take place for the rehearsal. I didn't get the whole story, but apparently the water got shut off at Mandy's home, and she ended up an hour and a half late to her own rehearsal. It was a blessing in disguise, as by the time she arrived, the rain had stopped, and the sun actually peeked out. During the rehearsal, she let me know that I could say whatever I wanted to. So, I wrote and memorized the following the morning of the wedding. ( what I said ) One of my uncles came up to me later, and admitted that he got a little misty eyed during my recitation, so, mission accomplished. ( Read more... ) (Comment on this)
Thursday, June 23rd, 2011
7:47 pm	Vacation? My brother Phil came home on leave from Iraq on the 14th of this month. Since then, I've had little or no time to do much of anything, other than run around from one little party or get together to the next. I guess I could consider it a vacation, but defining it as a break doesn't keep it from being exhausting. I had thought that most of this sound and fury was focused on Phil. After all, everyone we've been hanging out with has my number and could call me and hang out anytime, and they do, from time to time. But, the one time I decided not to follow in his wake, I was told, in no uncertain terms, that I was a jerk face for not showing up. Even so, I didn't go with him to visit with our sister tonight, partly because it's a long drive I don't want to make, but mostly because I've got some prewedding chores to get done. My niece is getting married on Saturday, and once again, I'm the one who will perform the ceremony. This is the second time I've done this: "And now, through the power vested in me by the World Wide Web..." In other news, I've got 40 plus websites that pay for writing in one way or another. I'll post entries about the sites and my experiences as they happen, but that won't start up again until Brother Phil is away, after the end of this month. For now, I've lines to memorize, so I'm off to do that. (Comment on this)
Thursday, June 2nd, 2011
11:16 am	What about nonfiction? As much fun as it is to daydream on paper, fiction is not necessarily a good way to make good money, especially not quickly. For every lucky so and so who makes their pile of cash the first time out of the gate, there are thousands of us who struggle just to get into print at all, let alone make enough to pay the bills. Besides, if you do a little digging, most of those over night success stories turn out to have a prologue that lasted for years. In order to try and find a marginally more reliable source of income, I spent yesterday trying to find out about writing nonfiction. The term nonfiction covers so very much: true life novels, factual articles, advertising, travel books, brochures, websites... there are more people who need more words than you can shake a stick at, and that's even when you are an expert in stick shaking. If I redefine my talent slightly into the ability to put thoughts into words, then I have a very marketable skill. WOW! That doesn't mean it will be easy. In fact, I ended up having to fight the internet. I googled a couple of phrases: write for a living, nonfiction writing. I expected, and found, websites and articles that talk about the ins and outs of freelance writing. Well a day, but then I dealt with the most intractable set of webpages it has ever been my misfortune to slog through: Redirects, broken links, html errors, page cannot be found messages, pop ups, videos I didn't want to watch, huge advertisements that caused pages to take several minutes to load even with my high-speed connection, and once, a damn virus that tried to load itself on my system. It wasn't exactly an auspicious beginning. I don't understand why this subject, unlike many others I've researched, should attract such a mess. Is there something innately credulous about people who want to write for a living? Is that why there would be such a push to shove things down my throat and get at my wallet or hard drive? It seems sadly unfair to make what is a difficult enough career that much harder. I've just barely scratched the surface, so I'm off to do more of the same. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 25th, 2011
6:42 pm	Hello world! Did you miss me? I got my eye zapped again last week, last Wednesday in fact. It usually takes me a week to recover from this nonsense, and here it is a week later. Today seems a good day to get back in the saddle, and since I haven't updated in a bit, I thought I'd take you, my delightful readership, on today's journey along with me. This blog is a thrill a minute, isn't it? A struggling wannabe writer, snore; but I'm trying to get my first guide dog, and that might at least be vaguely interesting to the average person. Average person: Defined as that which none of us actually are. ( Read more... ) (Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 10th, 2011
11:53 am	Fiction is an evil goddess, who asks only for your life and soul. There I tweeted again after twitter nagged me. The reason I joined twitter seems to have died away. I swear sometimes it feels like my submissions are poison, guaranteed to ensure that whatever publication I attempt to break into goes under shortly after they reject and/or ignore my work. Just in self-defense, I'd recommend publishing me before it's too late. I'll give it the standard three month waiting period, and if I don't hear back by then, I'll post the little 140 character or fewer stories here for your gratification and amusement. I've been sucked into a longer story that I don't think anyone will want to read or publish, but the damn thing won't let me alone. Not to mention that I sent bits of it to my brother, who is in Iraq and desperate for entertainment. I don't want to leave him hanging with yet another oh-that-was-interesting-but-brad-will-never-finish-it frustration. I've done that to him too often, and if I do it much more he might never be willing to read any of my stuff ever again. I guess if someone is asking for more, the story can't be all that bad. Besides, I've read some truly stupid stories, all published and on the shelves, complete with hardback and mass-market additions. If that stupid stuff can be picked up by the big boy publishers, why not my stupid stuff? Meanwhile, bills pile up and money falls down, and the goal to get a guide dog gets put off for another week. (Sigh) (Comment on this)
Sunday, May 1st, 2011
7:24 pm	Zigzag part 1: 1900 words Have the beginning of one of my more oddball pieces. Genre, modern fantasy, with a touch of sci-fi for fun. Excerpt from the journal of Doctor Ezekiel Watts: If I had known what would come of it, I probably wouldn't have tried. I probably wouldn't have studied science at all; I could have gone into advertising or something, but I had no clue. Who could have guessed how quickly it would all go straight to hell. And I always thought that mad scientist stories were passé, stupid, unlikely as hell. It takes large numbers of people working diligently together to do research these days. The idea that one unbalanced man flying kites in a storm and flipping giant knife blade switches could actually do anything to cause any trouble is ridiculous. I guess if I'd really thought about it, I'd have realized that one person can do quite a lot. After all, it only takes one match to burn down a suitably dry forest. When I think about my younger self, I have an overwhelming urge to take him by the throat and squeeze gently. As much as I'd like to claim that my motives were pure, the very first thing I did was snag the nearest warm body for a human trial. I was too caught up in the excitement of discovery, and a rat cannot tell you what they are experiencing. Maybe I give myself too much credit, or blame. Without Zack, several key discoveries might never have been made. I still wonder what happened to that first doppelganger, if he might somehow still be there, or if he was swallowed by chaos. I can only hope that he died quickly; the alternative doesn't bare thinking on. I don't really understand what went wrong. With a little help, I managed to discover a new technology that should have solved all the world's problems-- as much land, as many resources, as much energy as anyone could want, methods that would allow each and every person on this planet to have anything they could imagine. What would you expect to happen? Unlimited wealth and power for all, and the world promptly went to war over it. ( Read more... ) (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 26th, 2011
3:15 pm	Dancers: Branch of the Family Dancers By darb42 Episode 1: Branch of the Family Catherine climbed the stone steps, the silver tray held before her, steam rising from the bowl of stew set atop it. The aroma was enough to remind her that she'd neglected to eat anything, a not unusual result of the increasing number of duties she'd begun to take on. Arriving at the second floor, she turned down the hallway. When she reached her brother's room, she carefully balanced the tray on one hand, reaching up to knock uselessly on the polished wooden door. There was no answer. Of course there was no answer, but unlike most of those who cared for him, she tried to do as many of the things that her brother had wanted back when he could still make his wants and needs known as she could. After a slight respectful pause, she pushed the door open. The hesitation was part of her ritual, part of what she did to prepare herself for what awaited her. Inside his old room her brother sat in an over stuffed chair, one arm flung upward like he was pointing at something through the high ceiling, his head twisted back and to the side. At least, it was her brother's body. As to her brother, the rightful heir and pride of Crow's Landing, the animating spirit that had made his body more than a useless hunk of pointlessly breathing meat, there was no telling where that had gone. ( Read more... ) (Comment on this)
8:42 am	Rushing Fences. On Saturday, I submitted a story. It was for this call for submissions. You'd think I'd have learned better by now, but I got in a hurry and messed things up. The submissions guidelines didn't even call for it, but I figured I'd go ahead and use standard manuscript format. In fact, what I did was do what I thought was standard format, but wasn't. I don't know why I didn't pause long enough to check; I have a document with instructions right here on my hard drive. I think part of it was that I was forced to use my roommate's eyes in order to get the header setup, and he was only around for so long before he was to go off and do things. I don't recall needing help last time I did this. I must have stuck my nose on the screen, and I mean that literally, and used what sight I had at the time to figure out what button to hit with my mouse. I can't cheat like that anymore. Again, there's a solution, built into my screen reader software, that I just didn't use for no adequately explored reason. So, the wrong things are in the page headers, part of the header is centered instead of right justified, I have a different name in my bio vs. the story proper, and there's a plot-hole toward the end that I could have plugged with just one more sentence. That last one isn't so bad; it's a tiny hole that might be better left alone, not pointed out or plugged awkwardly. I'd guess that's the sort of thing an editor would help me decide, but the document is such a mess now that I'm expecting a rejection notice regardless of how good or bad the actual story is. Live and learn I guess, only I've done this sort of stupid in-too-big-a-hurry-mistake so often before that I'm not certain about the "learn" part. In other news, today seems a good day to get my donate button on my website, and then maybe I'll finally post something in fictionwriters. I've got a story called "Dancers" that's meant to come in episodes that I'd planned to write for my website. I think I got three up before I got discouraged. I've been emailing my little brother chunks of another story that has basically the same themes, but from a different angle. In fact, the framework is gigantic, so big that epic doesn't even cover it. It's the sort of fictional world that can hold as many stories as you'd care to trot out, but despite the huge potential scope, we are following only a few people as they deal with things beyond their comprehension. I could still make the old story work without messing up the new one; it's just been so long... Maybe I'll stick up the first episode and see if it's worth resurrecting. Current Mood: embarrassed (Comment on this)
Saturday, April 23rd, 2011
1:51 pm	One month later. It's been a month since my birthday. I thought I could take stock of where I am, especially since I like it. I have, after some digital judo, submitted multiple stories to multiple publications. Nice to have reached one of my goals. In this post, I facetiously mentioned that my office was open for donations. Well, now it really is. I don't expect to get anything here, but I'll be smacking that button down on my website. Maybe I'll get a few extra bucks. I've joined a writer's group, fictionwriters, and given out some helpful advice. I haven't posted any of my stuff yet; it's difficult when you want to sell your fiction as nobody wants to pay for something that's already been put up on the net. I may do that next with one of my longer pieces, at least the beginning to see what sort of a reaction I get. Not bad for a month's work, though I've so much still to do that it hurts. Current Mood: accomplished (Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 20th, 2011
2:16 pm	This week so far. ( Meat? ) It was nice to relax and hang out with friends, especially after the emotional rollercoaster ride of Monday. ( Trouble with Netflix. ) ( Technical trouble with PayPal. ) ( Wasted editing efforts. ) I've a post that I put up both here and in fiction writers, and someone actually left a comment. That picked me right back up. It was nice to see that someone somewhere actually paid even the slightest attention. We've been trading messages and chatting about mythology and the way oral traditions get turned into written epics. One of the major reasons I joined fictionwriters was for exactly this sort of discussion. Up and down all damn day. Right, I need to squeeze in a workout and do some editing of my own stuff, so I'm off. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, April 18th, 2011
3:32 am	Non-Norse and non-Greco-Roman mythology In the art form of fiction, there's a long and proud tradition of taking pieces of older stories, tossing them into a metaphorical box, shaking well and seeing what comes out. After reading this post, I thought I might share some of my favorite alternative myths. ( Read more... ) (Comment on this)
Sunday, April 17th, 2011
9:11 am	Erotic myths? ( You are about to view content that may not be appropriate for minors. ) (Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 13th, 2011
11:48 pm	Adapting to vision loss. It's been a good long while now since I lost that bit o vision. Things are far more difficult now than they ever were. I believe it might just be time that I did something about it. I thought I was good with the white cane, that I knew how to get from point A to point B with a minimum of trouble. Turns out I was using what vision I had, and now that there's much less sight to work with, what I thought was simple turns out to be rather difficult. I've been using friends and family, even relying on the kindness of strangers, but that can be somewhat restrictive. There's a device, the Tracker Breeze, which is a GPS designed specifically for blind folk to use. Mind you, it's expensive, but there's a program that will give you training for using the device, and let you have one for personal use. It's in Michigan, but that isn't necessarily a bad thing. They also have a guide dog program, and I might just be able to use one of those. As it happens, qualified applicants get all this at no charge, including transportation for students in the United Stakes and Canada, and room and board for the duration of the program. I've been focusing lately on being an author, mostly because I ran out of money and cannot think of anything else that might be able to earn me some. Maybe I could get an LJ spotlight: a blind author struggles to get published while learning to work with a Seeing Eye dog. It might just drum me up a bit of an audience, dare I say, even a following. Cheating in its way, but I'm not so proud that I'd pass up a chance to do what I want to do just because it takes a little working the angles. The program in question requires applicants to have a certain level of skill before they begin training. That seems something of a catch 22; if I was good with the white cane and getting around I wouldn't need their program. Fortunately, Washington State has a mess of people who can help me brush up my skills, again, at no charge to me. Still, it will all take time. I'm torn. On the one hand, increased traffic at this blog and my website are good things. On the other hand, I'm not sure I really want to be the poster boy for my disability. Then there's a confidence issue. I've had many an exciting plan for my life in the past, and most of them came to not much. If I'm in the spotlight, it could turn out to be quite a painfully public humiliation. On the gripping hand, maybe that would provide the motivation to actually do what I want to do, rather than just letting my dreams die of neglect. Of course, this all assumes that LJ would want my journal in the spot light at all, not guaranteed. I don't even know what it takes to be one of their featured journals; I've just seen the link "suggest a spotlight" on their homepage. Local author struggles to publish his fiction while dealing with encroaching blindness. This will take some thought. (Comment on this)
Sunday, April 10th, 2011
9:03 am	On the other hand... Well, the last story I was working on is more or less done. Certainly it could stand another rewrite, but despite my optimism in the last couple of entries, I cannot find a home for it. The place I'd planned to send it to won't take it; I should have read the submission guidelines a bit more carefully. This is good news for you, dear reader, as it means I might stick it on the website. I think I'll run it passed a couple of local friends first, especially since they requested a copy after hearing me maunder on about the damn thing. The gods bless my patient and forgiving friends! Yesterday I read through some of my old writing journal. The fun part is when I run across something I'd forgotten I ever wrote. I get to read my own work as though someone else wrote it, or at least as close as humanly possible to that sort of detachment. The frustrating part is that these are all story fragments, so just as one starts to get interesting, no more. The up side to this is that I've got several stories to choose from for the next project. There's also a rather large story or two I wrote because they wouldn't leave me alone. Actually that's how most of the stuff that gets written in that journal happens, one daydream or another that keeps running through my head until I get so sick of it that I have to write it down to shut it up. Some of them are too odd to be published. More website fodder, I guess. I've got another one burning another hole in my head. I'm off to write down enough of it to be able to relax. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 22nd, 2011
4:00 pm	The first paragraph The rough draft of my latest bit of effort is finished. Not bad, though not surprisingly, it needs much love and attention before I submit it. Speaking of which, I guess I'll have to pick a publication to send it to. There are several that it would fit. Then it can languish in the slush pile with all the other hopefuls. Ah the first line, the all important first line. This isn't just to get passed the intern or assistant editor who gets stuck going through the pile. The story, if and/or when accepted, will compete with many other glittering things in the land of squirrels and shiny things, AKA the internet. As a teaser, have the first paragraph. " My sister's lips press tightly against mine. We can't be shy about this; it's vital that we form as tight a seal as we can. She lets her air out, breathing out, filling me, saving me. With a shove against the sandy floor of the submarine cave and a swirl of displaced water, she shoots toward the surface to snatch another all too scant measure of air. How long can she do this? For that matter, how long has she been doing this. It can't be easy, not with no air in her lungs to add that extra bit of buoyancy. Hell, Glenda, whose body fat index hast to be some negative number, is almost certainly heavier than water after she gives me her breath. I lift my gaze from where I am trapped, one foot stuck in something below the sandy surface of the cave floor. My sister's pale limbs flash through the water as she crosses into the sunlight that pours in through an opening far above. " That's all I'm posting for now; I am trying to sell this one. Oh, and let me just sort of offhandedly mention that tomorrow is my birthday. My office is open for donations! (Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 16th, 2011
3:50 pm	Back to work? I was at a friend's wedding reception over the weekend. The lovely young couple had their ceremony in who-why-ee, but threw the party later in Seattle so most of their friends who couldn't drag themselves away from their lives and across the pacific would have a chance to see the fancy clothes and offer them good wishes and congratulations. Several times, people who I hadn't seen in months or years would drop by my table to say hello, "So, what have you been up to?" I did my best to answer well, to somehow wrestle the chaos of my life into a few polite sentences, "Not bad. I've been reading and writing, playing music and..." mutter mutter mumble and murmur. In the middle of giving old answers to old questions, I found myself feeling like a fraud, like I had no right to call myself a writer when I hadn't bothered to send in a story in so very long. To fight off the doubts, I decided that I would submit something this week, come hell or high water. If I couldn't manage to type up and polish one of my stories in that time... well... I guess I could work at... that's what makes it so scary; I can't think of much else I could do. Fortunately for my sense of self-worth, I submitted a story yesterday. I've been away from the written word for a while, and it is nice to be back, even if I was driven there by money. I've been collecting addresses and lists for places that publish short fiction, reading back issues and interviews, getting a sense of what the different publications are after deeper than the few paragraph description given on the "Submission Guidelines" page. It's the sort of research that any book on becoming a writer will recommend, but it's only been recently that I could follow it. Technology has finally caught up, and readers are actually starting to use electronic texts. While the old pulp and pigment rags have been having trouble, online venues are just coming into their own. This means that often, I can read back issues and interviews online. Most of them accept submissions electronically, saving me the expense of paper and ink, and the head ache that comes with trying to manage snail mail when I can't see to address an envelope, or check my story to be sure the ink hasn't smeared or run out, or be certain that the paper didn't get crooked, or any number of little things that you wouldn't guess would cause problems until you were already neck-deep in them. Unlike before, this time I can handle the process on my own, from research to writing to revising to submitting. While I'm pleased by the freedom, it also puts me on the spot, stripped of the comforting bulk of my excuses. (Comment on this)
Friday, September 18th, 2009
6:54 am	What the hell? Have a post. I haven't posted anything for so long that it hurts. OW! Let's see... My stupid eye is acting all squirrelly again. I had another eye surgery thingy back in May, but it still hasn't settled down from that. I may or may not have another one in the next few weeks. Just a warning for anyone who might want to get a hold of me; I go all reclusive for at least a week after one of these things. The big issue is that my next operation to save what paltry sight I have might be my last, and not in a good "we've solved the problem" way, more of a, "oops, that's it, no more sight for you, sorry about that," sort of thing. I know I walk around with the stupid white cane, bump into random strangers and pieces of the local landscape, now and again accidentally go careening out into traffic, but I'd really rather keep what I've got left. I still use it for this and that. Enough wining! In other news, I've been rather mad scientist of late. I figured out some ways to do some experiments I'd like to do on the cheap. I can't tell you how happy that makes me. BWA HA HA... LARGE! Oh hey! To continue talking about my sadly swollen and tender ego... Naw, never mind. I've just been getting effusive praise a lot lately, which somewhat baffles me. I swear that there's nothing particularly extra special about me, even if I did ride the short bus to school. Enough for now. Current Mood: awake (10 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, May 9th, 2009
8:04 pm	Incommunicado and why. I had another one of them there laser eye surgery type things yesterday. This is what they call a CPC, meaning that they deliberately kill part of my eye to try and save the tiny bit of vision I have remaining. As such, it sort of hurts over the next few days. As such, I'm on happy pills, but still not feeling all that happy. As such, it's going to be sort of hard to get a hold of me for the next week or so. Thought ya'll'd like to know. Current Mood: sleepy (Comment on this)
Friday, March 13th, 2009
3:49 am	By request, the next chapter. I'm sorry it took me so long. I know I said the next section was ready a couple of days ago, but that was the trouble; only the next section was ready, as in, only the next scene. It really doesn't have the right impact without the other scenes in the chapter, so I took some time to get the rest of it ready. By the time I finished, the chapter turned out to be around 5800 words long. Enjoy! ( The next chapter... ) Current Mood: content (3 Comments |Comment on this)